Pain On Beauty

written by Tanya Low

DEEPER STILL...

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It was grey...everything.  Spinning.  Didn't feel like I could trust anyone.  A season of trauma, loss and betrayal. I grasped for peace. It felt like I was riding a swinging pendulum, barely holding onto strength before losing it again. Maybe you can relate. A wise mentor spoke this truth:  "Pain and beauty CAN coexist." A few days later, I forced myself to go for a walk. I looked down at my cold driveway and the dismal brown, dead grasses of impending fall; I was numb. Then out from the pavement popped these purple flowers with yellow middles. A flutter of hope filled my heart, and I was reminded of the truth that beauty is here, now. In the midst of my pain.  Can't explain God's comfort, but I grabbed ahold. I am so so thankful that Jesus has always been here with me, through every trial, all my life. So faithful to hold me when I'm hurting.

 

King David (the psalmist) wrote:  "Why so downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God." Inspired by his openness in the psalms, I've always loved here how his spirit reaches out to his heart and soul. Yes, talking to yourself can be helpful!! It's scary to be open, with others and even with ourselves. Eventually what is hidden gets brought to light. Better to talk about it than to bottle up and compress it until it explodes. I love poetry and music because they move me past the abstract to something that feels concrete. Can you find a way to bring all that pain to the One who wants to give you a new start, help you heal and just hold you? God is here, ready. He can take ALL of what you're feeling. He loves you so much!