Listening

DEEPER STILL...

 

Awhile back, she posted a book she wanted people to read. She wanted us to respond that we were "listening." I was going thru great pain and loss in my life; I put it aside for later. When I finally checked back in, I was shocked at some things that were said. I responded in a way I thought reasonable and loving... My friend was mad.  Really mad. And hurt by some unaware things I said. The friend who was closest when we had our first babies.  SO precious to me, forever.  But we had been out of touch, living states apart now, for too long.  And when you're not listening well, for long enough, naiveté can catch you off guard and sucker-punch you.

 

A lot of people are angry, afraid of what the future may or may not hold.  Afraid today for their lives and their childrens' lives.  Afraid to be themselves.  And she was so pent up with a lifetime of holding it all in and performing for others, everything came unleashed and exploded out of her.  I didn't know the reality of her world and how my thoughts could affect her.  I broke her heart. And she broke mine. She cut me out, and that feels so helpless. I knew she needed time and space. But I needed help.

 

So I wrote a song, like a letter...  I thought, "It'll keep."  And it sure did.  It was a year before I knew it was time and I was brave enough to send her a copy.  When she heard it, she was on a plane to see me, SO brave. See, we had both broken each others' hearts.  It can be so scary to reconcile.  But love trumps fear. And I got to listen. I'm thankful, so so glad that she let me. It was a short visit and there are still so many more layers. But we're in process. It's honest and brave conversations, humble hearts.. that will change this world. 

 

Sometimes it's not a snap of the fingers. Stuff is still a little fuzzy for both of us, because the ways we experience the world are very different.  But we can stop just reacting, and we can listen. We can reassure. We can stay teachable. We can put down the guns and just be here together. Thank you for honoring me with this, my friend. I love you always.

 

Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving];

 

James 1:19 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/jas.1.19.AMP